My regards to the blamers and the non-speakers.

I just had a conversation with a friend and I realize, I actually am not one of those “blaming” people. I wrote about, in the last post, what I have experienced through others regarding that (blame) and yes, a bit from myself- but I handled things different in those matters for the most part. Not better just different. So, to clarify, I wasn’t ever a blaming type. I was probably a “make everything look alright”, “let them walk away and don’t stop them because there could be too much confrontation and pain”, or “they might abandon me and I might see there IS something wrong with me” type. Just let them be and have no reaction- until you explode and feel insane because you held your feelings in so long- type. Make sense? It shouldn’t but most likely it does.
WHY?
Why are many of us conditioned to believe our feelings “should not be”, or aren’t good enough, or are crazy or stupid? Even if they are crazy or silly, they are our feelings. They “should” be validated but there’s no guarantee for that. What we can do is validate them ourselves. And most likely if we get them out, they then have the chance to alter and become something else, rather than protecting them and keeping them there for too long to become stagnate and eventually a “sickness” or yucky thing inside.
IT IS OKAY TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL.
So get it out and then it can change and leave you… Right? This leads me to the fear behind the fact of doing this:
Judgment.
Well, yes, someone may judge you. And I say what you see in someone else is a reflection in yourself. You can’t recognize what isn’t in you. SO THERE. Let someone judge and then you can change it and they may be stuck wallowing in it OR they may change it too, then judge you differently. Either way, try to make decisions for yourself, for your health and soul- not for what you THINK others want, need or expect.
You are probably wrong anyhow. Think about that.

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