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Thanks GP and Goop for today’s newsletter. My response below. What’s yours and can it be expressed in a neutral non-judgemental way on both sides?

Normally a shop, travel, recipe and fun blog by Gwyneth Paltrow- Today she gives a little of herself in support of human acceptance and human growth. In this case homosexuality. And regarding the Bible no less.

It really doesn’t need to be a heavy subject – it’s pretty simple actually. So thanks for posting GP and getting me to think about this for a moment, once again.

Here’s my reply:

photo by thayer gowdy (click photo to see her fab website)

I would just like to add that I interpret when Jesus speaks of “ I am the way” or “let me show you the way” and of the “Father”, that HE himself is saying “watch me” I am the Father and son and spirit in one, in this human form. Just as YOU are and have the potential to be here in this present life. The “way” is within us, not outside of us… When we see this we have found truth, found ourselves, found how to heal ourselves and the world… The Father is that all-encompassing LOVE that we came from and are part of, all of us, each one of us, connected by and through the “Father”. When you know this you are “saved” because you will become this grace and compassion and ultimately what Jesus and every other sacred evolved soul through time and history have been trying to show: LOVE. There is no room logically or scientifically and especially not spiritually for anything to exist that resembles judgment, within LOVE. Who are you to judge anyone but yourself. And furthermore, what you see in others is in yourself somewhere whether it be fear or unworthiness or lack of trust or love. So, heal yourself and heal the world. Don’t worry about others choices and avoid looking at your own. Care about your own spirit. You chose this life as a gift to learn, don’t waste it hating yourself deep down inside when you are truly worthy of the love you desire. Strive to “be who God meant you to be ( to me this is LOVE ) and you will set the world on fire.”  – Saint Catherine of Sienna. 🙂

Namaste. (I bow to the god within you:)


9 year old vs Paulo Coehlo. Who said it better?

photo by marianne campbell

My almost 9 year old goddaughter texted me last night from iphone to iphone using a majority of emoji  symbols (Japanese icons) saying:

“go drink ‘icon of beer’ meet a ‘icon of man’ get (engaged/married) ‘icon of ring’ get a ‘icon of big diamond’ have a ‘icon of baby’ then look (back) ‘icon of an arrow pointing back’ at what you have done”

This just after my discovered quote for today:

God will ask only: ‘Did you love while you were alive?’ For that is
the essence of life: the ability to love, not the name we carry around
on our passport, business card and identity card. – Paulo Coelho

Put’s it bluntly and in perspective huh. We speak the same longing, we want the same things, if only that being to love and to be loved- yet once again realized in so many different expressions and languages and visions. Difficult not to judge or even be defensive as an independent 38 year old woman, her “directions”. But I get it. As I told her in reply, nice plan: maybe with out the “beer” so I can recognize a good man 😉 but if I do one day have a child that is half as amazing as she has been to me in my life, I would be luckier than I ever imagined. And I imagine a lot. What a gift that wise child is. And a sweet teaching of not to judge the words of people, but the message within them.

My regards to the blamers and the non-speakers.

I just had a conversation with a friend and I realize, I actually am not one of those “blaming” people. I wrote about, in the last post, what I have experienced through others regarding that (blame) and yes, a bit from myself- but I handled things different in those matters for the most part. Not better just different. So, to clarify, I wasn’t ever a blaming type. I was probably a “make everything look alright”, “let them walk away and don’t stop them because there could be too much confrontation and pain”, or “they might abandon me and I might see there IS something wrong with me” type. Just let them be and have no reaction- until you explode and feel insane because you held your feelings in so long- type. Make sense? It shouldn’t but most likely it does.
Why are many of us conditioned to believe our feelings “should not be”, or aren’t good enough, or are crazy or stupid? Even if they are crazy or silly, they are our feelings. They “should” be validated but there’s no guarantee for that. What we can do is validate them ourselves. And most likely if we get them out, they then have the chance to alter and become something else, rather than protecting them and keeping them there for too long to become stagnate and eventually a “sickness” or yucky thing inside.
So get it out and then it can change and leave you… Right? This leads me to the fear behind the fact of doing this:
Well, yes, someone may judge you. And I say what you see in someone else is a reflection in yourself. You can’t recognize what isn’t in you. SO THERE. Let someone judge and then you can change it and they may be stuck wallowing in it OR they may change it too, then judge you differently. Either way, try to make decisions for yourself, for your health and soul- not for what you THINK others want, need or expect.
You are probably wrong anyhow. Think about that.

are you super angry, bitter, guarded? who can blame you? i can.

here’s what I know (today). being angry feels horrible. feeling bitter gives a strong sense of yuck-iness. And you are lying to yourself if you think it feels good. Maybe temporarily yes- of course! Throw things, yell, cry to your self and your friends. But hating someone because i think they “did me wrong” is BS.  it is much easier to blame someone and to continue to ignore the true essence of who YOU are. I did this for years… maybe always. and I’m not saying I don’t fall back into every now and then- I’m not perfect – well I am perfectly human so that’s another conversation- but a few years ago I “woke up”. it’s a process so even though I knew something drastic had changed in my own being, it is now, years later, where I see it has been growing and I’m in it and will continue to be the rest of my days here. the difference is- i’m awake within this process now. life. what I mean is I’m not resisting any longer. I’m not blaming others and looking outward. people create scenarios and relationships “together” and you can only hold yourself accountable for your part- where they are concerned it is their own personal path and honestly you have your part to play within it and beyond that- little to do with that other individual. no matter how close you were at one time- or for those many years- or because he said she said… Promises are promises yes, but I also realize that MOST people are not trying to harm you. The make mistakes too. They want to believe in something- their potential, yours, and may make promises or say things then guess what!!??!! They change. And because they may not be awake – they don’t have the tools to be honest to themselves about what is really going on. Maybe it could have worked maybe not… But what are you left with now? And what do you want to do with it.
Through a series of relationships and life experiences I realized I never knew what I wanted nor lived for myself. Truly. What I’ve learned is those relationships contributed to my getting to that awakening moment and I am forever grateful… The difference now is I choose differently, because my path has taken a new direction. Those times or relationships ran their course-even if the people involved are or are not in my life at this time. So trying to hold on to something that is past- literally- is resisting where you are going now. I’m not saying forgive and forget. Although that would be terrific because then no energy would be draining from me or mis-used- but that takes a lot of determination and you have to be willing. I had 3 different types of therapy during a 3 month period. Did what I thought was healing thru yoga/ meditation at the time- when I honestly had no idea HOW to meditate. I could barely sit still. Now I can meditate 2 hours- guided that is- but that’s a step!  and another topic. I read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth nightly to set my ego aside and be able to sleep. and yet another topic- but back to being open vs. being closed: if you resist, your life will continue to challenge you emotionally, spiritually and so on… If you allow yourself to be gutted open, and say bring it on- you will be amazed how crazy and messy it will get yes! But how right it feels and how much better you will breathe AND that fact that you might be happier in moments than you ever dreamed possible.

“When you dream alone, with your eyes shut, asleep, that dream is an illusion. But when we dream together, sharing the same dream, awake and with our eyes wide open, then that dream becomes reality!” (anonymous)

I took this from Paulo Coelho’s blog today.

what does spiritual healing mean to you?

I asked friends in a Facebook post this question and here are some of the replies:

“Spiritual healing is learning how to accept and move on. Things have happened, are happening, and will happen, and once we can accept that this is just the way life works – giving/taking, good/bad, happy/sad – then we can spend our energies on enlightenment and all that good stuff.”

“I think “spiritual healing” means recovering from some sort of distress or negative state of mind in general. It’s about being happy or achieving peace of mind. Being “spiritually healthy” is about giving something positive to the universe.”

“Spiritual healing is the journey to finding true joy within, with no attachment to the outcome and judgment of others. You transcend above the emotions that limit you… jealousy, anger, hate, etc…

“balance of body & soul, optimum inspiration, for an enlightened lifetime adventure”

“I think it means repairing damage caused by a particular traumatic experience or the circumstances of childhood and aberrant parenting which, no matter how successful are necessarily traumatic due to the very nature of the process and individuals involved — how’s that for a mouthful?  ”

“loving yourself!”

“used to be that those terms meant some sort of hippie new age sh** which I didn’t care for. But now a days it’s more of how I live my life. I’m done with treating the symptoms. I’m more into treating the cause and dealing with the whole body, mind and spirit, as a cure for what ails you. ”


I normally wouldn’t throw my hat in this ring, but I’m in a Bible study and this week the whole topic was about this very thing, so here goes. I do believe in God, and Jesus, and having a sweet son w/ autism, and watching the incredible “coincidences” of how God has provided for him (and us) has really strengthened my faith.

I don’t know what you believe – so I hope I don’t offend!!

There’s a passage in the Bible – 2 Corinthians 12 – where Paul has some kind of disability.  The consensus is that it’s some kind of problem with his vision…. he talks about how he’s prayed over and over again for God to remove “the thorn from his eye.”

Anyway, eventually, he comes to the place that he realizes that God uses his suffering to develop his character and to be an example to others.   I love the way the notes from our homework say it:

“God did not remove Paul’s ‘thorn’ of suffering in order that God’s grace might be seen and proved sufficient to balance Paul’s suffering.  Surely there is no greater proof of God’s power and grace than when a person is given such supernatural joy in God that the comfort he receives is greater than his pain.

“When a person suffers yet has the courage to endure without murmuring against God, the strength of faith in God manifests a particular glory of God that many of us know nothing about.  Often this bears more eternal fruit than a testimony of a miraculous healing.”

Anyway, just thought I’d throw that out there.   I’ve prayed and prayed (and done LOTS of other kooky medical/therapy/etc. stuff) for God to lift <my son’s> autism.  It’s painful as a mom to watch, and who knows what his future will look like.   He’s made some amazing progress, but still maybe 50% chance he’ll live independently someday.

I’m finally at the place that I still pray for healing, but I also can see the amazing changes in my life, and our whole family because of it.   I always used to sort of roll my eyes a little when people who had a child w/ Down Syndrome, etc. would say what a “gift” the disability had been, but now I really do understand.

If God just “healed” <our son> and we went on with our daily lives, I might not have gone so “deep.”

Hope that doesn’t come off as preachy- I just think that’s been a big realization for our little family.

I also believe in a lot of alternative therapies – and I think ancient Eastern medicine, etc. had figured out a lot of things about how our bodies work that modern medicine is just now touching on.  I think we’re spiritual beings and God created our bodies to be self-healing in lots of ways we’re just now discovering!

I just wanted to clarify that I don’t really mean self-healing in the “if I just think happy thoughts my body will heal” – but more that God designed our bodies in miraculous ways – ways that we’re just beginning to comprehend – and that there are so many cleaning/healing/detoxing processes built into our bodies that we need to support instead of always just medicating.